2. WOMANHOOD IN GOD

By Pastor Peter Tan



We often hear this statement: behind every successful man, there is a woman. I would also say the reverse is true. Without a great man, there will not be a great woman also. This applies to the family situation. No matter how good a mother is, it would not be complete without a good father. Thank God for good husbands and good fathers to the children. That is the greatest blessing that mothers can have in a marriage life and family relationship. Sometimes mothers are like busy bees. They go about fulfilling their daily chores and even daddy’s work if he is not around. Many times mothers ask themselves where is their own private time. Where is my own private time with the Lord? I want to encourage you mothers. When you put your family first, you find that you could hardly cope with the day’s work. However, if you reverse it and put God first, He will put you first and then you will find that your daily work is blessed. When your heart is right, God will pour forth the strength to bless you.

Many times, we praise God for godly mothers. We can learn a lot from godly mothers. When God bestows motherhood on a woman and anoints her womb to bring forth a child, the godly seed is already inside. The anointing is already there. Just like when you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior the anointing is there to function as a full fletched Christian. The difference is sometimes we are not aware of it. We have not function to the maximum capacity. What hinders mothers is the failure to function to the full calling and the full capacity that God has enabled them to. One of the greatest hindrance is a lot of mothers have not learnt how to dealt with their emotional life. When ladies speak, they speak with the mind added with emotion whereas the men dwelt on the principles. Ladies tend to mix the principles with emotion. Women’s emotion comes stronger.

God placed a lot of emotional love and emotional strength into a mother’s heart so that she can take the stress and still be blown up. This is my own observation. Sad to say the devil sought to destroy this area. Many times especially women whose emotional problem is not dealt with will bring their emotional baggage into the family life when they get married. It will also rub on to the children and even husband.

So this morning I want to share from scriptures the example of two ladies who dealt with their emotional problems. Dealing with their emotional problems enables mothers to function to the best capacity that God has called them to. We must learn how to get hold of God and to get to God’s side. God has called you. God is always on your side. When we face any disappointments, frustration, fear, feeling that we are nothing, we are not able to do the job that God has entrusted us to do, get hold of God.

Hannah

There is a woman in I Samuel chapter one. She has a lot of emotional stress. She is the wife of Elkanah. I Sam. 1:2 And he had two wives: the name of one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. It was customary, though not sanctioned by God, for a man to take a second wife when his first wife was barren. Hannah went through a lot of rejection because she had no child. She even suffered emotional abuse from the other wife as 1 Sam. 1: 6 says, And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb. Verse 8 she was weeping. Hannah was going through a terrible emotional upheaval because she could not bear a child. Verse 10 And she was in bitterness of soul and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. When her husband took her to the temple to pray, she was going through an affliction of her soul.

Many women experience emotional hurts in a variety of situations and circumstances. Women must run to God, take hold of God’s Word, and release it to God. One of the ways to deal with our emotional problem is to learn to release it to God in prayer and worship. The whole chapter of I Samuel chapter one talked about Hannah and her husband went forth to prayer and worship. A woman who spends much time in worship will gradually become emotionally stabilized as the Lord heals the areas of hurts and emotional scars in her spirit, soul, and body. As you forget your emotional wounds and freely worship the Lord, there will be a fresh anointing that comes over you to break the yokes of emotional bondages and heal your inner self. Women who are liable to throw tantrums and seized with depression and melancholy because of some severe disappointments should spend more time worshipping the Lord. Just forget about yourself and concentrate on ministering to the Lord’s needs. When you put God first, God will bless you and heal you.

Verse 15 she prayed No, Lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. And the Lord heard her prayer. The Lord accepted her sacrifice and her worship. Women must learn to get hold of God, come before His presence and be touched by His presence. You know what women tend to do. They look for people and pour out their sorrows and this is only a temporary relief. Women ministry must start with prayer and worship. I know that nothing except worship can change women’s emotions and offer them real help. People can give a listening and sympathetic ear but that support is just only temporal. When a crisis situation begin to hit you hard, when the children begin to give you problem, and the devil tries to convince you that you are not able to handle it, you know who to run to. Run to God and spend time in His presence.

Pray until the presence of God falls on you and you are flowing in the presence and the love of God. You need to release your worship to God and receive strengthening in return. If women do not learn to do this, you know what will happen. Your children will be your punching bag and they will be on the receiving end of your emotional hurts, disappointment, and negative feelings that you cannot handle. Or maybe you may treat your husband as a garbage bin and you dump all your emotional garbage on him.

We thank God for Hannah. Hannah has overcome her emotional problem. Hannah had a husband who doted on her. Her husband said, “Isn’t it enough that you have me. Never mind if you do not have a child.” Her husband loved her so much that the husband always gave her a double portion when the blessings were divided. I Sam. 1:5 But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah. Despite having such a loving and understanding husband, she nearly drove her husband away because she was in sorrow of mind. Many women are blessed with good husbands from the Lord. However, if they do not know how to surrender their emotional wounds and scars to the Lord, there is danger that the emotional wound would be a thorn in the marriage relationship that can create festering wounds. The devil always uses a woman’s emotion to bring down a man. The woman should not give place to the devil to exploit her emotions to damage the marriage and relationship. Many ministers are blamed if they fall into immorality in the ministry. However, few realize that the devil uses the emotion of the woman to get her entangled with the minister and bring about his downfall. The woman is equally to be blamed if she did not keep her emotions under reins.

Hannah finally learnt to overcome and deal with her emotional problem when she poured her soul to the Lord. She learnt to pray heart-felt prayers to the Lord. She learnt to cry out to the Lord. She learnt to get hold of God. Women, get hold of God. Some women’s emotions can be so strong that they seek for love and attention, even in illicit relationships. Women’s emotion is like bush fire - if it is not controlled, it will burn off everything in its path. Women, don’t let the bush fire out. When there is any strong emotion holding you and you feel like giving up, it is time for a personal revival fire. Go to a secret place and pray through for revival fires to flood your heart from God. You will be refreshed and a God-fearing revival fire will replace your emotional bush fire.

Michal

Earlier, we saw the example of Hannah who dealt with her emotional problem and was blessed with a son. Let us turn to II Sam. 6 to see another woman who didn’t know how to deal with her emotional problem and was rendered childless till the day she died. She is the wife of David. Her name is Michal. David married Michal and after that, he had to run away from his father-in-law, Saul, a mad and jealous king. It is no joke to have a mad man to be your father-in-law. Thank God, you do not have the devil to be your father-in-law. All Christian’s young men and young ladies, please marry in the Lord. Be careful who you marry.

Michal’s marriage was destroyed by her own father’s hand. When Saul sought to kill David, David had to run. She helped to save David’s life by making a plan and sent him off. She never got to see her husband again. She faced a broken marriage. When David was on the run, he met Abigail, another lady that inspired him so much that he took her as wife. When David built his kingdom, when peace was settled around him and when he reached a point of success, he remembered Michal. He asked for Michal. By that time, Michal was already married to Paltiel. Paltiel was forced to surrender Michal back to David.

Ladies can understand the trauma of a woman who had to face one broken marriage after another. Michal lost her first husband, David because of her own father. She was then married off to another. Now David claims her back and she had to break her second marriage. That is not all. When she came back to David, she found out that David had already six wives (2 Sam. 3: 2-5). Even that is not enough – she will have to face the fact that David will keep on adding more wives to his marital chest. In II Sam 5:13 it says that David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he had come from Hebron. Also more sons and daughters were born to David. Think of the rivalries and the competitions Michal had to face. It’s no joke. Any lesser woman would have packed her bags and left.

She stayed on and because she had not dealt with her emotional problem look at II Sam.6:20 to see what happened. Remember Michal was returning to David, only to find out that her rating as first wife has dropped to seventh wife. She was the daughter of a king, a royal princess but in David’s household, she was almost a nobody. If there is anything a woman cannot stand, it is being treated as low priority on her husband’s list of priorities. Her heart was still bleeding from this affront to her. After all that she has done for David to save his life, she felt cheated and let down by David. David’s love was too divided among the seven wives to pay enough attention to Michal to make her feel special. She bore this hurt in her heart but unlike Hannah, she didn’t know how to pour her soul to the Lord. She didn’t know how to surrender her emotional wounds to the Lord for healing. I tell you, ladies, if you have emotional hurts and unforgiveness that you have not surrendered to the Lord and receive His healing, you are a walking emotional time bomb that can explode at any provocation, to your own further hurt and the hurt of your loved ones.

When David was dancing and rejoicing because the ark was brought back to Jerusalem, Michal still had not resolved her emotional hurts nor mended her broken relationship with David properly. She could not share David’s joy and happiness on this occasion of bringing home the Ark. She saw the maidens eyeing her husband and she was afraid that any of these maidens would ingrate themselves to David and David would take them as his wives. Her thoughts were not on her husband’s happiness. Her thoughts were on her own fears of being left further behind among more wives. Finally, her emotional wound burst open and her mouth flowed with hurtful words saying, “David, you shamefully uncovered yourself.” David was only wearing a linen cloth around his waist and nothing else. When he danced and kicked his legs, the maidens had a good view of his unmentionable parts. Now it hurt the husband especially since he was bringing the blessing back. In verse 20 it says Then David returned to bless his household. Suppose a man managed to close a million dollars deal and came back home in a state of euphoria. His wife did not think that was important and suddenly let fly a torrent of harsh words berating him for not keeping some promises to her. She didn’t think of her husband’s joy. She only thought of herself. What a time to open the mouth. God bless these women.

Now Michal did not fulfill her call at all. In verse 23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death. The bible did not say her womb was closed. I believe that because she got so bitter, so hurt that even the husband did not like to get near her. Michal may have developed a very quarrelsome tongue and would not hesitate to let off a stream of hurtful tirade whenever there is an emotional stirring up of her deepest wounds. As long as she has not dealt with her emotional problem, she will constantly let loose a barrage of accusations that can go on for hours like a broken record. Which man would like to come near such a woman? The result is that Michal bore no children till the day she died. This is in contrast with Hannah who poured her soul to the Lord and healed her emotional problem, and the Lord granted her a son called Samuel.

There is an invisible link between a wife’s lack of submission to her husband and her barrenness. Very often, when a woman has a problem with her womb – like barrenness, internal bleeding, cysts and growth, - it has to do with her rebellious attitude towards her husband. When such a woman does have children, she may pass on the generational curse to her daughters, who may have the same symptoms of the womb. If you are barren or have problems with your womb, first check out the root causes. You will have to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the root cause of your problem with barrenness and womb problems. Remove all barriers that prevent you from having children. You may have to repent of your attitude towards your husband. You may have to be willing and submissive to him. You may have to repent of any generational curse in your mother’s line.

David never had a very stable and good emotional love life. He had so many wives he does not know which one to love. He divided his love so thinly among his wives that he did not love any woman in a full and manly way. His stronghold for women may also be reacting, so that he lusted after many women without loving anyone in particular. That may have led him to commit adultery with Bathsheba.

Ladies, mothers you got to deal with your emotional problems. No matter how much feelings boiling up like a pot of vegetables soup, you have to learn to praise God in everything. Maybe your daughter, your children had done something to upset you. You are so disappointed. You are so bitter and so hurt, like the bitter gourd in the vegetable soup. However, learn to thank God even for bitter gourd soup. There are some vitamins and nutrition’s inside. Forgive me since today I am sharing some housewife theology.

You see Hannah have learned how to get hold of God. I like this little song: He will never let go my hand, He will never let go my hand, though the storm may come and the wind may blow, He will never let go my hand. He will never let go your hand because you never let go of God’s hand. You have to run to God. Hannah ran to God and see what is the outcome. She got the Lord on her side. Her husband was also got on her side. The husband so willingly agreed to her plan to give their best Samuel to the Lord. They raised up a priestly ministry. How wonderfully Hannah fulfilled the awesome call of motherhood. It all began in the heart of a mother Hannah. She knows how to get hold of God.

Michal had no child. I want to encourage you mothers and those who had no children or you are still believing God for a child. Understand this that God anoints the womb. God through the power of the Holy Spirit causes you to conceive. In Christ Jesus even you and your children are called heirs in the Lord. Actually, in the Lord, you and your children are brothers and sisters. A godly mother is willing to be humble and broken. Sometimes your child says, “Ma, I want to talk to you. You did something that hurt me.” Be willing and humble. Let them pour out their grievances. God put the calling of motherhood inside you. Learn to treasure it. Humble yourself, be broken, and learn to get hold of God in praise and worship.

There are many scriptural principles you can learn even in the home as a mother. Sometimes women face situations where you feel like you have failed as a mother and wife. However, when you fellowship with other women, you realize you are not the only one who feels that way. Every new mother who carries a little baby and made some mistakes in bringing up the child feel that she is the only one in the world dumb enough to make such a mistake. However, when you began to fellowship with other women, you realize that those are just feelings. You realize other women have that kind of feelings and have fought through those feelings into reality. They may not be facts. Yet, to a lady the feelings and the facts look like they are one. Women have to learn how to control and channel their negative emotions into positive emotions. The best way is constantly maintaining an attitude of thanksgiving, praise and adoration to the Lord.

We praise God that today we could remember mothers. As we were worshiping this song comes into my heart. It’s a dedication to mothers.

When I was just a baby you held me in your arms and rock me to and fro. From toddler to teenager you helped me day to day in food, drink and everything.

That’s not my song. However, here is a song that we dedicate to the mothers:

I thank God for you from my heart for giving your life for me.
I thank God for you mum for giving you to me.
For you are God’s love reviewed in the flesh.

Here’s for you mum. I appreciate you. A song from my heart just to say thank you.

For many are the days and many were the nights you cared for me in hard times and in need.
For many were the years and many were the tears you poured out your love for me.
For many are the days and many were the nights you cared for me in hard times and in need.
For many were the years and many were the tears as you poured out your love from our heart to me.

Just for you mum. I appreciate you. A song from my heart just to say thank you.

For many were the days and many were the nights you cared for me in hard times and in need.
Many were years and many were the tears as you poured out your love for me the love that is from your heart.

Just for you mum. I appreciate you. A song from my heart just to say thank you.

For many were the days and many were the nights you cared for me in hard times and in need.
Many were the years and many were the tears as you poured forth for me the love that is from your heart.

Just for you mum. I appreciate you a song from my heart just to say thank you.

Sometimes men you don’t realize it but one ounce of encouragement can produce many pounds of strength. I know how some of you ladies feel when you come forward to the altar and you are publicly appreciated for all love and sacrifices for your family. Just a little encouragement here and there can keep you going stronger. I mean we are not talking of an over dosage of encouragement where you only live on encouragement to keep going. Then you lack strength. However, we believe that it is time to encourage people especially when they have been working so hard. Children, if you have never encouraged your parents and say thank you please do so. Husbands, if you have never said thank you to your wives and appreciate for all the labors they did in bringing up your children you need to do so from time to time. As I say, an ounce of encouragement can produce many pounds of strength.

God has made women special and women have the ability to bring that extra touch. You will know it if you did every thing you can and you bring a lady I, she will find small little things to add to the situation or to the beauty of the place. I could imagine when God created Adam and the women was not made yet. Adam saw the trees that God made, the animals that God made, and every thing that God made and they were beautiful. God said they were good. His creation was perfect and beautiful. When Adam saw the woman that God made for him, I believe every thing else looked different because there was an added difference to it.

What was this special ability that God gave to women that women need to excel it? If you notice in the book of Luke chapter 2, Jesus was now about 12 years old. They went off on the caravan together with the others when they came to Jerusalem. About three days later, they realized that Jesus was not among them and they had to backtrack to look for Jesus. When they came back to look for Jesus the bible tells us that it was not the father that said anything. It was the mother who especially felt that deprivation and it was her who expressed it in Luke chapter 2:48 So when they saw Him, - the word they represent the father and the mother. So together they saw Him Joseph was also there. They were amazed and look, it was His mother who said to Him. Son, why have you done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously. See women had the extra touch. They feel it deeper than men. They had the ability that God gives them.

See God has created every thing and the woman was another stroke of grace and blessing that God brings. Women is the extra touch to cap creation. By the word extra we do not mean just an add on. But we mean some thing that we put right there to bring every thing into place. It is not extra in a meaning of just an add on. But it a coup de grace, the finishing touches. When you have finished cooking the dishes or baking a cake and you display them, as a chef you give a finishing touch. So the word extra here is qualified as a coup de grace. The finishing touch brings brilliance out of the whole situation. And women, that’s your role in God. Didn’t the bible says women are the glory of men. You are the coup de grace of God that brings the enchantment. Perhaps the word extra is not good enough. We call it the great enchantment that God brings. The extra touch that God gives them.

It was not the father who followed Jesus Christ in His ministry it was the mother. Because many were the nights, many were the days when she will be worrying about her Son Jesus. Although officially He is the Son of God and there was no biological connection between them except her womb, yet it was her who cared for Him perhaps even more than the father. When Jesus was suffering on the cross, it was still the mother who was hanging around because this was her Son. She nursed this Child. This Child grew to be a man fully Son of God, fully Son of Man. But you can see this caring, this ability to stay through. In the book of John chapter 19:25-27 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. It was the mother who cried more than anybody else when Jesus hung on the cross. It was the mother who felt the pain as much as anybody else if not more. Of course, we know there is no pain and grief that can be felt like the pain of the Father God when His Son was on the cross. However, of all humans on that day who had any feelings for Jesus I believe His mother felt it most. Mothers have the quality of the extra touch.

Turn to Mark chapter 3. In the time of Jesus’ ministry when His mother and His brothers came to see Him, I want you to know that His brothers wanted to see Jesus more than the mother. The mother had known Jesus to a certain extend to leave Him alone. But you look carefully in Mk. 3:31 Then His brothers and His mother came, and standing outside they sent to Him, calling Him. And the multitude was sitting around Him; and they aid to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking You.” If you look at verses 31 and 32 there was a reverse. First it says that His brothers and His mother.

Understand that scriptures can be very precise in its details. There is a reason for a particular order. Like for example in the book of Numbers chapter 12 when Aaron and Miriam had a quarrel with Moses, it looks like Aaron was the one involved because Aaron’s words were recorded. However, when God punished them, it was Miriam who got the bulk of the punishment because God knew it was Miriam’s doing more than Aaron.

In this particular case it was not Jesus’ mother who was interested in confronting Him. Look at His mother whose heart is torn. His brothers were bringing accusations against Jesus and saying all kind of things about Jesus. His mother just loves everybody. She loves both Jesus and His brothers and I could see the picture in my heart and mind. The brothers were the ones who wanted to confront Jesus and the mother says, “Well, if you go, let me go and try to help out the situation,” and she was just tagging along them. They were the ones who wanted to confront Jesus. But why was she there? She was not a confronter all her life. You can see the revelation she was not a confronter. If anything else, she would absorb any accusations leveled at her. The Bible says she held these things in her heart and pondered over them. She was there because her flesh and blood sons were there and the other One given by God and she was trying to be a mother to all her children. You could see that extra touch.

Look over in the book of I Samuel. We all know the story of how Samuel was given by God to Hannah and God gives her a son and how in the end Samuel was dedicated to the Lord. Samuel was given to God and God continued to work in his life. But there are some passages here that we want to bring forth in regard to what Hannah did. I Sam. 2:18 But Samuel ministered before the Lord, even as a child, wearing a linen ephod. Moreover his mother used to make him a little robe. Can you see that? Hannah had that extra touch. Who would have thought of a mini robe to clothe little Samuel like a little priest? I tell you Hannah loves Samuel. Even though she dedicated Samuel to the Lord, her love for him was still there.

See ladies, God gave you powerful emotions. These powerful emotions need not be a burden. It can be an asset to make you powerful in the Lord because you make a difference in life. See ladies are good at details. The more I thought about this little detail of making this little robe, she may have taken the whole year to make that little robe. Men you need to listen sometimes to your wives. Sometimes they have these little touches that you and I forget. When you are visiting your loved ones, your wife will remind you to find something for them. You say it is not important. These are all the little things that make a difference in life. How would you like it if your food were tasteless? How would you like to have your curries with no spices, no salt, and no taste? It is still food and nutrition. Why is it that the best chef takes a little bit of this ingredient and a little bit of that ingredient and turn an ordinary food into a colossus gourmet? Homemakers can take an ordinary plate of food, add a little extra touch and make the dish turn out different.

I know what some of you men are thinking the best chefs are all men. We got the quality but wait, we don’t have the quantity. In the whole world, if you got to measure by numbers, who does the most cooking? The ladies. Women are the ones who mostly prepare the meals that feed the children, the meals that keep laborers going and the meals that makes society runs. What happens if the housewives of the world gang up and strike? The vast majority of humans are fed by these ordinary ladies who have kept society going. I want to emphasize the fact that ladies you are the coup de grace. You have the finishing touches to the beauty that God has brought.

Today people are encouraging working women to go out to work by giving them tax relief. However, I want you to know the highest call of a mother who bears her own children is to mother them yourself. There is nothing like brining up your own children. It is so big that Paul in the book of I Timothy and the book of Titus he talks about how the older women must teach the younger women how to be good mothers. I want to emphasize that being a mother is a high profession of God. You are a professional homemaker in God. Stand up and know that your call in God is recognized in the heavens above that the bible so securely mentioned it in the writings of the apostle Paul that this is their divine vocation.

When I was in Singapore, the Government was doing this survey of the role of mothers in the home. They calculated how much mothers are worth. They calculate the servant’s pay, the cook’s pay, the housekeeper’s pay and guess what – they calculated that the average housewife’s work was worth several thousand dollars a month.

Men don’t be Pharaoh or slave driver to your wife. Don’t expect-s her to wash your clothes, cook your food and pay her peanuts. Without your wife you realize you got to employ a cook, a housekeeper, a child minder and you add it all up she is doing it sacrificially for you for a miserly sum of allowance. They are worth more than that. They are the coup de grace the finishing touches of beauty that God has added to men.

So, find your role in that. Realize it is a high calling in God. Secondly with every calling comes an anointing. Do you know there is an anointing to be a mother as much as an anointing to be an apostle? Some of you who are elderly ladies who may not have families. I want you to know you could have adopted children. You could have spiritual sons and daughters in God. You could be a mother spiritually to many young wives. Didn’t the bible say in the book of Timothy that the older women teach the younger ones? It is what God has made you to fulfill . There is an anointing to be a mother.

Let me close with a song I thank you mum for giving you to me etc.

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